Brill

One main version:

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (5:53), Kleine Krieg (6:06), Prayer for Aradia Bonus Tracks (5:55)

The song fades in, contains samples from several other LPD songs in the middle, and then fades out at the end. Totally random and discordant. On Kleine Krieg it cross-fades at the end with a small suffix.

Instruments: Choppy keyboard melody; single drum machine pattern that is not followed by the other instruments; two vocal tracks; brief sped-up backwards chanting; snippets from other songs from Chemical Playschool 1 (see below for a list); sequenced keyboard melody fades in and out; sequenced keyboard with wildly oscillating pitch; occasional vocoder interjections with heavy distortion near the end.

Suffix "Choir" (0:22):

On Kleine Krieg the end of the song crossfades with a recording of what sounds like a cathedral choir, with organ synths and effects in the background. It cuts off abruptly.

What It's About:

My guess is that the lyrics are largely improvised. They're mostly patronizing statements about a "clever boy's" intelligence. Apparently this clever boy won a prize but he'd better run quick if he wants to escape with it.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

You won the star prize, surprise surprise.
Clever boy, lucky boy. Take the money and run.
Run, run before we change our minds.
Us widows are fickle. Run, run, run, run.

[The Christ of Jesus was ?]

Run, run, run. Run, run.
Run. Run. Run. Run.

[Snippets from the Full Band version of "Waiting for the Call / You 'n Me", "Phallus Dei," "Before the End," "Guess the Politician," and the Boopy Keyboards suffix from "Apocalypse Then"]

Oh you're such a clever boy,
Get out 'for the going's good, I told you.
Such a clever boy, your cranium's so wide, your forehead is so high.
You clever boy.
[?]
What a man, a born winner!
A winner!
And you've got such a good job in an office or a [?].
Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir, more bags, five bags, eighty bags alike!
[?]
Clever boy. Clever boy! [?]
[?] sonny [?]
Mom's little lad's a clever boy!

[The Christ of Jesus was ?]

Why You Should Care:

You shouldn't. This is the most annoying Legendary Pink Dots song ever...and yet they must have liked it because they also put it on "Kleine Kreig."

Guess the Politician

One main version:

* (1981) Only Dreaming (3:27), Ancient Daze (3:10), Ancient Daze CD-R (3:20)

The seven-second instrumental lead-in is cut off in the "Ancient Daze" CD mix, and so is seven seconds of the fade out. The "Ancient Daze" CD-R mix is almost complete.

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern; three melodic keyboard melody tracks; keyboard bassline; single vocal track with varying reverb.

What It's About:

A sketch of British politicians who treat people terribly and are outright fascists. Basically a big, angry, but sad howl about Great Britain in the early '80s, though what the girl has to do with it I don't know.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

When the fireworks start where will they be?
They'll be warm in their bunkers watching TV.
Stemming tears for the smoke that was once you and me.
Such a shame, such a waste. Solves a few problems.

Like unemployment.
Like immigration. This screwed-up nation.
Think I'll go back to cleaning floors.

And a-looky over there by the perfume stand,
there's a made up girl with a messed-up hand.
Thought she'd look distressed, she looks just grand.
Kind of chic, what a chick. It's a (sicken?) and they got her.

It's so appalling
to touch, a mauling, a crazy morning.
Only pleased he was so prepared.

Did those feet in future time walk upon this land of mine?
Land mine will get him!

See the queer with a leer. Got his chin on a lead,
knew him back in the past, knew him intimately.
Got a house up in Hull, a mole on his knee.
Really liked me for a while 'til I shot his spaniel.

This indecision
here in Late Britain, I hate Britain!
Kind of wish I'd been born a fish!

Just annoy him now and he'll shriek "Sieg heil!"
See him quaking on the floor, see him quiver and how.
Took a blue, made a plan, joined the Ku Klux Klan,
bought a bag full of boot boys waiting for his orders.

It's quite intriguing
to hear them squeaking while flames leap in.
He's a tiger when he's aroused.

Rule Britannia.
Brittania rules the waves.
Britain never, never, never, never will be slaves.
Alles zusammen now.
Never, never.

Trivia:

"Alles zusammen" is German for "all together." In the final lines the fascist politician is rousing us all to sing "Rule Brittania."

Why you should care:

One of many songs about Ka-Spel's dislike of England. Shades of the future song "Evolution" in the line about being born a fish.