Chemical Playschool Volume 1

The Legendary Pink Dots, C90, 1981

1. Defeated - "1981 Version" also on Kleine Krieg and Legendary Pink Box.
2. Voices - "Full Band Version" also on Premonition and Legendary Pink Box.
3. Ideal Home - "Ka-Spel Version" also on Traumstadt 1.
4. Black Highway - "Full Band Version" also on Kleine Krieg and Legendary Pink Box.
5. Soma Bath - "Jolly Version" also on Kleine Krieg and Brighter Now.
6. Dolls' House - "1981 Version" also on Kleine Krieg and Ancient Daze.
7. Louder After Six - "Throbbing Keyboard Version" also on Ancient Daze.
8. (Throbbing Chorus) - unavailable elsewhere.
9. Phallus Dei - also on Only Dreaming and Ancient Daze.
10. Stand Firm, Damien - unavailable elsewhere.
11. Dying For The Emperor - also on Premonition and Under Triple Moons.
12. Peace Krime #1 - unavailable elsewhere.
13. Brighter Now - "Chaotic Version" unavailable elsewhere.
14. Peace Krime #2 - also on Kleine Krieg and Prayer for Aradia bonus tracks.
15. Mpnmep Cptaha - unavailable elsewhere.
16. Apocalypse Then - "Martial Version" unavailable elsewhere.
17. (Boopy Keyboards) - unavailable elsewhere.
18. Professional - also on Prayer For Aradia Bonus Tracks.
19. Donna's Blitzed Again - unavailable elsewhere.
20. Brill - also on Kleine Krieg and Player for Aradia bonus tracks.
21. Witch Hunt - unavailable elsewhere.
22. Break Day - "Evil Pulse Version" also on Kleine Krieg.
23. Break Down - "Full Version" unavailable elsewhere, "Edited Version" on Prayer for Aradia Bonus Tracks.
    

The Band:

Edward Ka-Spel - vocals/keyboards
April Iliffe - vocals/piano
Phil Knight ("Phil Harmonix") - synthesizer
Roland Calloway? ("Rolls Anotherone") - bass
Mick Marshall? ("Rik Chevrolet") - guitars
Sally Graves? ("May B. Irma Mazed") - keyboards

Notes:

• Considered at the time to be a "best of." Different editions had some different titles apparently because "some titles were forgotten and renamed."
• The first half contains more-or-less traditional songs -- most used liberally elsewhere -- whereas the second half is mostly made up of odd experiments -- most of which have never appeared outside of this album.
• It seems strange that "Dying For the Emperor" would not get a real release until the "Premontion" tape, even though it's much more accessible than some of the songs they put on other releases previously.
  

Break Down

Two Main Versions

* "Full Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (9:11)

* "Edited Version" (1981) - Prayer for Aradia Bonus Tracks (1:43)

The Edited Version starts in the same way, then fades out slowly. It is incorrectly referred to as "Fin" on the Prayer for Aradia CD.

AKA "Shit, It's Raining." Really two instrumental songs, both similar but with a distinct division between the two.

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Discordant sequenced keyboard playing repetative pattern. Three sequenced keyboards, one taking the lead and modulating in various ways, another quacking in a way that Ka-Spel uses during "Inferno/Illusion," a third playing a primitive four-note bassline; snatches of indecipherable sped-up vocals; backwards snippets from "Before the End"; the backwards guitar solo from the beginning of the Throbbing Keyboard version of "Thursday Night Fever; snippet from the beginning of "Stars on Sunday."

Why You Should Care:

Seems a bit like a prototypical "Premonition" song, being a long, listenable experiment that stays more-or-less within a single theme and uses elements from previous songs.

Witch Hunt

One Main Version

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (0:45)

Also known as "War Krime." Fades in and out with little change ocurring the middle, sounding like an improvisation (similar to "Brill").

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Sequenced two-note keyboard; organ chords; disconnected keyboard melody; fiery synth sound effects; single vocal track.

What It's About:

A witch is being burned for her crimes, and gosh it hurts.

Lyrics:

Burning! Burning!
Higher, higher, don't you feel the pain?
Words cannot explain your feelings right now.
Paying for your crimes. Paying for your crimes,
it's the time for your crime.

Why You Should Care:

You shouldn't. This is the third most annoying Legendary Pink Dots song ever.

Brill

One main version:

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (5:53), Kleine Krieg (6:06), Prayer for Aradia Bonus Tracks (5:55)

The song fades in, contains samples from several other LPD songs in the middle, and then fades out at the end. Totally random and discordant. On Kleine Krieg it cross-fades at the end with a small suffix.

Instruments: Choppy keyboard melody; single drum machine pattern that is not followed by the other instruments; two vocal tracks; brief sped-up backwards chanting; snippets from other songs from Chemical Playschool 1 (see below for a list); sequenced keyboard melody fades in and out; sequenced keyboard with wildly oscillating pitch; occasional vocoder interjections with heavy distortion near the end.

Suffix "Choir" (0:22):

On Kleine Krieg the end of the song crossfades with a recording of what sounds like a cathedral choir, with organ synths and effects in the background. It cuts off abruptly.

What It's About:

My guess is that the lyrics are largely improvised. They're mostly patronizing statements about a "clever boy's" intelligence. Apparently this clever boy won a prize but he'd better run quick if he wants to escape with it.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

You won the star prize, surprise surprise.
Clever boy, lucky boy. Take the money and run.
Run, run before we change our minds.
Us widows are fickle. Run, run, run, run.

[The Christ of Jesus was ?]

Run, run, run. Run, run.
Run. Run. Run. Run.

[Snippets from the Full Band version of "Waiting for the Call / You 'n Me", "Phallus Dei," "Before the End," "Guess the Politician," and the Boopy Keyboards suffix from "Apocalypse Then"]

Oh you're such a clever boy,
Get out 'for the going's good, I told you.
Such a clever boy, your cranium's so wide, your forehead is so high.
You clever boy.
[?]
What a man, a born winner!
A winner!
And you've got such a good job in an office or a [?].
Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir, more bags, five bags, eighty bags alike!
[?]
Clever boy. Clever boy! [?]
[?] sonny [?]
Mom's little lad's a clever boy!

[The Christ of Jesus was ?]

Why You Should Care:

You shouldn't. This is the most annoying Legendary Pink Dots song ever...and yet they must have liked it because they also put it on "Kleine Kreig."

Donna's Blitzed Again

One Main Version

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (2:59)

Instrumental track with a rough, sparse melody and various chaotic elements throughout. Fades in and out with no real difference or evolution.

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Sequenced keyboard which modulates differently throughout; second sequenced keyboard playing single repeated note; organ chords; keyboard melody; indecipherable vocoder voices.

Professional

One Main Version

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (3:32), Prayer for Aradia Bonus Tracks (3:30)

Both appearances use exactly the same mix. A brief sped-up snippet of another song appears in the middle. There are noticeable tape glitches during the fade out.

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern; synth bassline; organ keyboard melody; discordant plinking melody in the background that cascades up and down during the middle break; single vocal track; another keyboard melody that appears during the last minute.

What It's About:

The lyrics aren't exactly polished or direct, but they seem to be drawing a parallel between professional soldiers and prostitutes, selling themselves into war even though they don't particularly want to...it's just a job for them.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

Got luxury lungs, they're cheap to run, they're lined with darkest velvet.
I breathe in deep, my face turns green, light flashes on my helmet.
Hell, it's not my choice. I'm shy, like to hide away in corners
and saunter down the street so carefree. They don't allow it.

Professional.

Start to prostitute myself, sell my body to the snipers
who lean on distant windowsills, silhouettes behind their rifles.
Sure I'm scared, but I carry on, is it one day, maybe more?
There's wars to fight, there's claws to bite. Some things you have to stifle.

It's just a job.
A profession

Apocalypse Then

Two main versions:

* "Martial Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (4:07)

The song fades into the drum sequence and melody. During the middle portion the tracks begin to feed back and get sharper. Fades out into the "Boopy Keyboards" suffix.

Unavailable elsewhere.

The lyrics do not yet have the "so it came to pass" introduction, simply starting with "I clutched at your sleeve..." And there are no shouts of "LIE DOWN!"

Instruments: Drum machine with single "marching" pattern; keyboard bassline; warm keyboard melody which becomes sharper in the second half; two vocal tracks; synth siren sound briefly at 2:20; bits of the "Boopy Keyboards" suffix appear in the middle portion.

* "Full Band Version" (1982) - Brighter Now (7:24)

Fades in with distorted martial music. Many of the tracks have a subtle echo with changing pitch and duration. The "crime is crime is crime" sample appears again during the bridge. Fades out with recorded "sieg hiel" chanting, interrupted by a slamming door, followed by a music box and the sound of church bells. Unavailable elsewhere.

The lyrics now contain the "so it came to pass" introduction, but the "I spit on you Britannia" lines have been removed. The song structure is much more complicated than the somewhat monotonous Martial Version.

Instruments: Drum machine; bass guitar; warm synth chords, joined by a second keyboard during the climax; occasional synth effects; gentle acoustic guitar; single lead vocal track; backup vocals by somebody else (Keith Thompson?);

Suffix "Boopy Keyboards" (0:44):

Instrumental that only appears on Chemical Playschool 1. Sequenced bass keyboard; three plinky keyboards playing largely unrelated melodies. It fades in and out briefly during the actual song as well.

What It's About:

One of the first of many Dots songs which compare British imperialism -- particularly under Margaret Thatcher -- with fascism. The implication is that a fascist state arrives first with cheerful propaganda and proud nationalism, which must be fought before it turns into an apocalypse (secret police, thugs in the street, everybody fearfully looking after themselves).

The disintegration of British society is illustrated by the literal disintegration of a dancing lover, in whose ashes are written the 13th psalm.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

So it came to pass that a flag flew from every window
and widows handed poppies out in the squares.
And squares were bashed and majors barked
and marching music laughed from the airwaves.

The waves were there to rule again.
We had the ambition. We had the ammunition. A mission...
In the name of God.
In the name of "democracy." Demo-crazy.

Lie down.
Lie down. Forfeited your right to survive.

I clutched at your sleeve. We danced in the fire.
Just a pair of spastic swingers on a melting plastic floor.
But you crumbled in my hands as I fumbled in your blouse,
slipping through my fingers to my feet.

It felt like mustard.
Hot, like custard.

And in the dust that was once an arm, a crazy wrote the 13th Psalm.
A final gesture.
He did it with calm precision, a dot on every "i."
A lullaby for lovers on the last day...

Paying last respects with cups of poison.
Pointed passive at the blood sky.
Lying lifeless at their doors.
Clawing craters in the shelters.

Helter-skelter in the lift shafts, blasting brains out in the dark.
LIE DOWN!! LIE DOWN!

(...crime is crime is crime.)

A dog defaced a baby, gnawed a rattle, smashed a pram.
Yelping wildly in a vacuum. No one really gave a damn.
Thinking only of themselves, yes, they searched for a release.
Hid in cupboards, under tables, cabled Jesus, called the police.

And the radio screamed out, "We're winning!"
About how the loss was minimal and how the gallant sacrifice
will live on through memorials, how we'll build respect again.
No playground anymore.
No, you can't keep this country down for long, 'cause we win so many fucking wars.

I spit on you Britannia, I spit on you Britannia, I spit on you Britannia, I spit on you Britannia, I spit on you Britannia.

Why You Should Care:

The first of three "Apocalypse" songs..."Apocalypse Soon" and "Apocalypse Gone" will both appear on Chemical Playschool 4. I assume that the title is a play on "Apocalypse Now."

In addition, the word "Apocalypse" is sometimes used to describe alternate versions of LPD songs (and of course there's the "Crushed Velvet Apocalypse" album).

The Martial Version is one of the more explicit of Ka-Spel's anti-imperialist statements.

The "crime is crime is crime" sample also appeared in both versions of "Peace Krime."

The phrase "dots on the eyes" first appears here (in the Chemical Playschool 1 version only).

Mpnmep Ctpaha

One main version:

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (2:38)

The song fades into the drum sequence and melody, and fades out with an odd sped-up vocals repeating a Russian phrase.

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Drum machine with single pattern; barely-audible synth bassline; synth piano keys; high-pitched synth melody with Russian tinge; single vocal track; windy synth noises.

What It's About:

This one is short and ambiguous, but it might be about somebody looking at a painting by a Russian artist. The painting depicts a happy family, but the viewer detects an ominous possessiveness in the smile of the mother.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

The artist was good. He caught the mood, he caught the colours.
Caught the warm, embracing smile, a kindly aunt, a loving brother.
But the smile belongs to mother.
Says "I'll clothe you when you're cold, I'll feed you when you're hungry.
You'll never want to leave me.
Never. Never. Never ever ever ever nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!"

(Russian lyrics?)

Peace Krime #2

One main version:

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (2:41), Kleine Krieg (3:38), Prayer for Aradia Bonus Tracks (2:41)

AKA Peace Crime 2.

On Kleine Krieg the song fades in from an untitled prefix and fades out through an untitled suffix, accounting for the longer running time. On other releases the song fades in and out cleanly.

Essentially two songs: a discordant vocoder/organ experiment with a quiet, melodic portion in the middle.

Instruments: Vocoder voice; organ chords; windy synth noise; football chanting samples; news program samples; sequenced keyboard bassline; plinky keyboard melody;

Prefix "Wednesday Night Fever" (0:44):

Sound collage that only appears on Kleine Krieg.

Instruments: Vocoder voice; windy synth noise; crowd noises; lots of echo; backwards, sped-up keyboard sequence; snippet of keyboards from the Clicky Version of "Thursday Night Fever," which appears later on the tape.

Suffix "Birds" (0:27):

Sound collage that only appears on Kleine Krieg.

Instruments: Chirping birds; echoing, oscillating keyboard sound that gradually becomes more distorted; piano synth chords.

Lyrics:

(...something but they never stir, they've never seen a lady that's howling and they keep complaining but they take no notice, they just take no notice, they sit up [?] when they get bored of the sodding, fucking radio)

...with someone who is serving a sentence for crime. Crime is crime is crime.
...with someone who is serving a sentence for crime. Crime is crime is crime.
...for crime. Crime is crime is crime.
...for crime. Crime is crime is crime.
...with someone who is serving a sentence for crime. Crime is crime is crime.
...serving a sentence for crime. Crime is crime is crime.
...question of granting political status. I just hope that anyone who is on hunger strike for his own sake will see fit to come off hunger strike, but that is a matter for him.
...I just hope that anyone who is on hunger strike for his own sake will see fit to come off hunger strike, but that is a matter for him.

([?])

Why you should care:

The "crime is crime" samples -- supposedly of Margaret Thatcher -- are also used in "Peace Krime #1" and the "Full Band Version" of "Apocalypse Then" (among other places).

Brighter Now

Two main versions:

* "Chaotic Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (5:13)

A somewhat traditional song structure overlayed with chaotic elements which gradually gain prominence. It fades out on what sounds to be the backwards keyboard sequence from "Breakday."

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Drum machine with single pattern; two plinky keyboards playing somewhat disconnected melodies; simple piano keyboard chords; two vocal tracks; two tracks of unrelated synth noises; fast-paced sequence blips during the second half are possibly the instrumental parts of "Breakday" played backwards; indecipherable sample at 4:30.

* "Warm Version" (2002) - All the King's Men (6:00)

Very similar to the approach of the original version: a traditional song overlayed by increasing chaos. This one is much "warmer sounding" than the other, though, and begins with a sound collage similar to "Oasis Malade."

The lyrics are slightly different: "sun caress the sea" is now "sun dance on the ocean," the first "it" is now "they," one of the vocal tracks says "dance" instead of "skip" (a noticeable mistake that was for some reason kept in), the guns can't "hear" (as opposed to "touch"), and "nearest star" becomes "stars above."

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Quiet drum machine with single pattern that occasionally distorts; lush piano keyboard; buzzy synth bassline; two vocal tracks; distorted synth melody; crunchy sampled noises and voices from radio with heavy echo feedback bouncing between the speakers; sharp backwards sampled noises intermittently audible; discordant keyboard plinks coming in halfway through; warm synth pads gradually audible; quick arpeggiated keyboard bouncing around during final quarter;

What It's About:

On a beach, intense love shelters two people during wartime, protecting them from all negative outside influences. The narrator plaintively implores his lover not to "turn against him," apparently recognizing the fragility (and ultimately short-lived) nature of their "moment."

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

Sitting on the beach, we watch the sun caress the sea.
Turns the waves to liquid fire, but we know that it can't hurt us.

Hear a scream from far away, planes skip across the horizon.
Guns are barking out a symphony; we know that they can't touch us.

For our love's higher than the mountain, brighter than the nearest star.
I bought the book, I read the label, wrote the script down in my cradle.

Waited all my life for this moment.
Make it real for now.
Make it for eternity! Eternity!
Don't turn against me.

Eternity. Don't turn against me.
Eternity!
Don't turn against me.
Eternity! Don't turn against me. Don't turn against me!
Eternity!
Eternity. Don't turn against me.

[?]

Peace Krime #1

One main version:

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (3:43)

A track with prominent samples taken from news broadcasts regarding British current events -- state of the royalty, Prince Charles' suitability for the throne, financial issues, somebody's hunger strike, and the death of two children -- as well as what sounds like football chanting.

The people being interviewed keep suggesting that Prince Charles should get married, so maybe the recording was made previous to his engagement in February 1981.

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Sequenced keyboard bassline; organ synth chords; heavily modulated swoopy synth noises; indecipherable vocoder voice; samples from news broadcasts with echo in the left speaker.

Lyrics:

(Watch the famous on the box)

...most people are very happy with the queen?

I think there are good...it's good for England to still, to have a queen. It's one of the few places in the world where they still have royalty and I think it's a very worthwhile thing to still have royalty. I used to live in Australia and people there think so much of the royal family. I think that it's done a good job and I don't see any reason to [?]

Well, I [?] two or three years yet meself, you know, I don't think he's quite ready for it yet. He's a bit too, it's a bit too soon for him yet, he's not quite...try getting married, settle down for a little while.

Can I get your opinion of the royal family?

Yes, I think they're very good, I think we need them, they do a lot for trade, and I think, um, I think she should retire, actually, I think she should let Charles come to the throne.

You think he has the qualities to make a good king?

Yes, sure.

What do you think those qualities are.

Well, I think he's quite serious-minded, I think he knows what's going on in the world, he's seen a lot of it, he meets people all the time, and...yeah, I think he's a [?] maybe get married and settled down, then he might [?] yes, let somebody else...

[?] go down, falls very quickly. The pound--

...well...

...the corporate spending world today, [?] straight to the pound, which of course was [?] and if so [?]. Because [?] has got a lot of slack, uhhh [?]

([?] Armageddon...[?] really look like he'd be at home there?)

[?] have not a great deal to begin with.

[?] 27 days [?]

[?] ...and the latest in their department and legislature [?]

...with someone who is serving a sentence for crime. Crime is crime is crime. It is not political, it is crime. And can be no question of granting political status. I just hope that anyone who is on hunger strike for his own sake will see fit to come off hunger strike, but that is a matter for him.

(Like Gabriel, like Gabriel...)

[?] police have managed an inquiry after two young children were found dead at their home. The children's mother has said [?] child had been taken to hospital [?] suffering some bruises.

Why You Should Care:

This doesn't appear anywhere else, but Peace Krime #2 appears on many different releases and it uses the "crime is crime is crime" sample (probably Margaret Thatcher) repeatedly, as well as the football chanting. This sample also appears in the "Full Band Version" of "Apocalypse Then" and at the beginning and ending of "A Bargain at Twice the Price (from All the King's Horses).

This is also the first time that they've really played with samples, though they've obviously done them with tape manipulation as opposed to with a sampler.

Dying For the Emperor

One main version:

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (6:59), Premonition (6:22), Under Triple Moons (6:14)

On both Premonition and Under Triple Moons the fade-in is mixed with the previous song ("Digital"). At 3:40 the keyboard sequences gradually slow down and become distorted, becoming an improvisational dirge. On Premonition and Under Triple Moons the song leads into "Oceans of Emotion" after a brief sing-song portion, but on Chemical Playschool 1 the song continues on for a while, fades out, and ends with a sudden explosive synth sound.

Instruments: Quick sequenced bass keyboard; quick sequenced keyboard playing melody; two vocal tracks, one whispered; two vocoder tracks repeating lines from the song; percussive accents (tambourine) quietly halfway through; quiet whistling sounds leading into the slower "dirge" portion; rattling wooden percussion during the dirge.

What It's About:

A man (Damien?) is obsessed with a Space Invaders type game, and he plays it long past exhaustion in a never-ending quest to "destroy the aliens." He refuses to give up the fight but eventually he dies despite the efforts of others to keep him alive. Since the game never ends, he can't destroy ALL the aliens...but he sure tried!

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

Finger on the button, perspiration on the forehead,
splashing puddles on the keyboard,
jerking sideways, upwards, downwards,
sister's spied us [?].

You can't destroy the aliens, can't destroy the aliens.
It's painful and you're doing well, but we keep coming back.

But still he tries as missiles fly. His lady keeps complaining
'bout the lack of conversation, session's lasted for a day now
but he won't give up the fight.

He's gotta destroy those aliens, gotta destroy the aliens.
It's painful but he's doing well, but they keep coming back.

And patiently they brought him food and forced it down his throat
'til he was choking, dribbled gravy, swiveled crazy,
spacey glimmer in his eyes.

Tries to spatter all the aliens, splattered all the aliens.
It's painful and he's doing well but still they creep on back.
Creeping back for more.
Creeping back for more.

But still he won't give up, those actors slap him on the back
and snap him with their Instamatic, automatic, Jap-o-matic,
he' s fanatical but ice-cool

as he cannons down these aliens, gotta destroy the aliens.
It's painful but he's doing well, but they keep on coming back.

His score's just topped a million, he's killing them, a winner,
though he's getting so much thinner and beginning to see stars.
Starts to mutter, eyelids flutter on the point of passing out.

Gotta destroy these aliens, gotta destroy the aliens.
It's painful but he's doing well, but they keep on coming back.

A nation sighed, his mother cried, he just expired,
Still firing, firing, howling why he tried to beat them to the end.

Tried to beat the aliens, tried to beat the aliens.
He failed to fail-ians.
The fail-ians.
The fail-ians.

Ambiguity:

This may actually be two songs: "Stand Firm, Damien" followed by the "Dying for the Emperor" dirge. The words "dying for the emperor" do not appear until the last section, and the "gotta kill the aliens" lyrics would suggest more a man who is "standing firm" as opposed to "dying for an emperor."

But on Premonition and Under Triple Moons this is just presented as a single song ("Dying for the Emperor"), and on Chemical Playschool 1 -- which lists "Stand Firm, Damien" immediately before it -- the "Stand Firm" song might be the short instrumental track preceding it.

Stand Firm, Damien

One main version:

* (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (1:47)

Quiet instrumental track that fades in after a "tape glitch" sound, and cuts off suddenly at the end.

Unavailable elsewhere.

Instruments: Low keyboard drone; low keyboard plinks; intermittent high-pitched beeps that fade in and out at different speeds; quiet indecipherable voice at the end.

Why you should care:

A song called "Damien" appeared on the 1995 album "From Here You'll Watch the World Go By," though they may not be related.

Louder After 6

Two main versions:

* "Throbbing Keyboard Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (4:42), Ancient Daze (4:21), Ancient Daze CD-R (4:26)

Called "Louder after Six #1" on some versions of Chemical Playschool.

All mixes start with a recording of somebody dialing a telephone, followed by a dial tone. The song begins suddenly. In the middle of the song you can barely hear a recording of the "at the sound of the tone, the time is..." operator, as well as a dial tone, and then somebody attacking their telephone. The Ancient Daze mixes fade out, whereas the Chemical Playschool mix stops suddenly with the sound of a receiver hanging up.

Instruments: Choppy organ chords in a rhythm; obnoxious rhythmic synth which modulates strangely; two vocal tracks.

* "Jolly Version" (1982) - Brighter Now (5:07)

At 2:33 the drums are played backwards for a bar.

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern that occasionally switches to a breakdown; occasional synth effects; another organ providing accents during the middle portion; bass guitar; organ chords and melody; electric guitar; single vocal track that sounds like it's coming through a telephone during one verse; two sped-up vocal tracks near the end.

Sounds a Lot Like:

"The Wrong Impedance," which uses new lyrics with nearly identical backing tracks.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

A click says you're connected and a buzz says that you're heard.
Fingers slide across a panel. They're recording every word.
Try to talk about the weather, don't say anything absurd
'Cause their tapping the phone again... insane!

Invitations from the Kremlin, interference on the line.
Dial a friend to find some comfort; stroke her nicely and she'll tell the time.
And a voice checks in the distance "Christ, it's nearly half past nine!"
Tapping the phone again - what a pain!

Give away a little secret and it ends up in the file
numbered EK5320. In the archives for a while.
They're taking notes, flicking switches, feeding programs, reading dials.
They're tapping the phone again - nice!

And the bill lands on the doormat, calls to Moscow, calls to Mars.
You'd call the cavalry to save you, but you can't afford the charge.
Cut the wires! Axe the pylons! Such fun to sabotage.
Attack your phone again.

Take a cleaver to your receiver. Attack your phone.
Take the pliers to the wires. Attack your phone.
Attack attack attack attack attack

Why you should care:

The "can't afford the charge" line is a terrific pun.

Dolls' House

Two Main Versions

* "1981 Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (7:00), Kleine Krieg (8:13), Ancient Daze (6:57), Ancient Daze CD-R (7:00)

All mixes fade in, but the Ancient Daze CD mix cuts off five seconds, and on Kleine Krieg it is mixed with an untitled prefix. The Ancient Daze CD-R mix is almost complete.

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern; monophonic keyboard following the melody; choppy organ chords and steady chords in a lower octave; random string keyboard rising and falling, occasionally making explosive noises; single vocal track with reverb; second "mommy!" heavy-echo vocal track which sounds like Ka-Spel; bass guitar, slapping percussion.

* "1983 Version" (1983) - Curse (4:50)

Starts with a gentle music box, then the beat and bass begin to play. After a match strikes, the song begins. The "frying tonight" chorus is not repeated in this version, and it fades out earlier than the original (after the "nor's daddy" line). No "fireworks" lyrics this time. The song fades into a snippet from "Film of the Book," then into strange childlike cheering, and finally into following song ("The Palace of Love.")

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern; bass guitar; knocking, clicking, bells, triangle, plinking piano string, and crashing percussion; surf-like electric guitar; choppy synth that sometimes plays chords, changes to fiery static, or picks out the melody during verses; single vocal track; occasional backing vocal; female "mummy!" vocals; music box with winding noises.

Prefix:

On Kleine Krieg the song is preceeded by an unlisted seventy-second instrumental track consisting of low synth noises. The song mixes with opening section of "Dolls' House."

What It's About:

A young girl has decided that she's too old for her toys, so she sets her dolls' house on fire. This is the cheerful story of the inanimate inhabitants burning up along with their furniture. It's a joyeous celebration but it probably shouldn't be.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

The kitchen smells of paraffin, the stairway's turning black
and teddy's looking tired 'cos he's lying on his back.
Crackling curtains dance in ribbons, flames are waltzing 'cross the hall.
A beetle turns a somersault in a matchbox by a wall.
Getting restless with his lettuce.

Frying tonight in the dolls' house. Mummy's smiling with a match,
blows softly through the doorway, draws patterns in the ash.
Crackle crackle.

Golly's leaning out of the window. He gives a little wave.
Grins as only gollies can but he can't come out to play.
Sparks leap up his trouser legs, but he doesn't care
'cos he's busy watching mummy comb her curly hair.
Very pretty on the settee.

Frying tonight in the dolls' house. Mummy's smiling with a match,
blows softly through the doorway, draws patterns in the ash.
Fizzle fizzle.

La la la...

Frying tonight in the dolls' house. Mummy's smiling with a match,
blows softly through the doorway, draws patterns in the ash.
Flash flash.

Up on the second floor little Wendy takes a bath.
Her skin is melting slowly but she manages to laugh.
She knows a dozen words or more, she's always so polite.
Pull her string out slowly, she'll sing on through the night.
Sing forever! Really clever!

Frying tonight in the dolls' house, but mommy's getting bored.
Tore up all her comics, not a kiddie anymore.
Nor is daddy. Nor is daddy.

Fireworks flashing 'cross the sky.
Bonfire night in the dolls' house.
See all the flames, see all the sparklers.
Fizzle fizzle. Flash flash.

La la la...
La la.
Laaaaaah.

Crackle crackle! Crackle crackle! Crackle crackle! Crackle crackle!

Ideal Home

Two main versions:

* "Ka-Spel Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (4:01), Atomic Roses (3:40), Traumstadt I (3:40)

On the Traumstadt I CD, Ideal Home spans 14:22 - 18:00 and is not any different from the cassette version.

The Atomic Roses and Traumstadt I mixes fade in from the previous song ("Atomic Roses #1"), whereas the Chemical Playschool mix fades in. On Atomic Roses and Traumstadt I the song ends abruptly with a strong echo that fades out. The Chemical Playschool mix continues for another 22 seconds with vague scat vocals, slowly fading out.

The only decipherable parts of the vocoder interjections are: "acid bath...garden...whirlpool..."

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern; bass guitar; electric guitar; one main vocal track; constant vocoder interjections modulated by the guitar, with the original vocal source barely audible underneath.

* "Thompson Version" (1981) - Basilisk Bonus Tracks (3:54)

This version is sung by Keith Thompson, with whispered vocal accents by April Iliffe. It is an oddly loung-ey treatment performed over crowd noises.

Instruments: Acoustic guitar; bass guitar; bongos; shaker percussion; vocal track with phaser effect; occasional backup vocal accents.

What It's About:

Angeline and her lover just want to be alone in their ideal country home. Whenever anybody intrudes on their happiness, they lure them into the garden and submerge them in an acid bath. They have done this to many of their neighbours and would happily do it to any intruding gods if necessary. Strangely, though, the lover's skin is "slowly peeling." Did he end up in the acid bath as well? Maybe Angeline isn't as loyal as he'd thought.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

Angeline, Angeline, do you think this bliss is going to last?
Gazing in your oval eyes, sipping sunbeam sodas from a flask.
And should someone call in on us, to share in our enjoyment,
stay to tea...
show him round the garden and push him in the acid bath,
like the Smythes, like the Hydes, like the Jekylls.

Syracuse, Syracuse, I believe that I saw heaven this very day.
And as you lick my fingertips I'm floating over Devon, far away.
And should someone burst in on me and spoil my meditation,
God forbid,
we'll lead them round the garden, push them in the acid bath,
like the Travers. Never see them round these days.

Angeline, Angeline, your perfume has me reeling like your eyes. Nice.
And as the sun beats down on me, my skin is slowly peeling. Wonder why?
And should Cupid himself drop by, to fire his silver arrows
at our hearts,
we can take him round the garden and push him in the acid bath,
like Apollo, like Adonis, just like Zeus.

La la la la la, la la la.
Doo.
Buh bah bah, bah bah...

Why You Should Care:

The "voice modulated by guitar" vocoder effect is a nifty idea and sounds quite alien, but it illustrates why people don't use guitars with vocoders very often.

The "Keith Thompson" version shows a very different possible direction for the Dots, much more accessible and commercial.

Break Day

Three main versions:

* "Jolly Pulse Version" (1981) - Only Dreaming (3:04), Ancient Daze (3:02), Ancient Daze CD-R (3:09)

Both mixes fade in, but Ancient Daze (CD) cuts off the first few seconds of music. Both mixes fade out at the same time, ending with synth boops. The Ancient Daze (CD-R) mix has more of the fade in, and contains a few seconds of blank space at the end of the track. The "spilt the milk" line is different in this version but I don't understand it.

Called "Breakday" on Only Dreaming

Instruments: Pulsing synth chords for beat and melody; plinky melody played on keyboard occasionally degenerating into heavy chorus effect or white noise; erratic bassline occasionally providing siren effects or white noise; two vocal tracks

* "Evil Pulse Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool 1 (3:37), Kleine Krieg (3:30)

Both mixes fade in with windy synth noises, but on Kleine Krieg this is mixed with the previous song ("Peace Krime #2"). In both mixes the song fades down into church/choral noises, but on Chemical Playschool this fades out cleanly whereas on Kleine Krieg this gradually mixes with a suffix ("Defeated Palace").

Instruments: Pulsing synth chords for beat and melody; organ chords quietly pulsing in double time; two keyboards play alternating plinky melodies and discordant effects; two vocal tracks.

* "Tower Version" (1984) - The Tower (3:35)

Starts abruptly, fades out with "alarm keyboard" at the end.

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern; funky keyboard bass line that goes into double-time during chorus; organ synth chords; two synths provide plinky/bell accents; two tracks of chunky electric guitar during chorus; two vocal tracks; sequenced alarm keyboard near the end.

Suffix "Defeated Palace" (1:28)

Only on Kleine Krieg, crossfades with choral noises. Backwards snippet of "Defeated" which gradually mixes with horn noises, deep synth groans, and percussion.

What It's About:

As fascism began to slowly overtake a country, the citizens ignored the growing police state until it was too late: "break day" had arrived. Unstoppable soldiers commit indiscriminate acts and the future looks bleak, as the people realize they should have stopped the process -- or at least escaped -- before break day truly arrived.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

(All versions differ slightly in the exact lyrics)

Slogans turned to secrets. The symbols turned to stains.
The face of an enemy was imprinted on our brains.
Made us spectres at the shutters,
faces covered, taking aim.
Faking blame.
Break day.

Break day!
The brakes failed. Break day.
We all broke down together.

Drains were painted scarlet. Scars were opened wide.
Kids saluted in the basements, whistled hymns and homicide.
And though we wanted to change things,
the fact remains, we never tried.

Break day!
The brakes failed, break day.
We all broke down together.

But you had a chance.
You had the brains, you had the money,
could have bought an airplane and skipped this hole for somewhere sunny.
You recognized the symptoms, smelt the hatred in the air.
But you stayed. You better pray.
Aren't you just a little scared?

'Cos it's break day!
The brakes have failed. Break day.
Breaking down together, en masse.

A nurse hid and shivered as an army axed her door.
Linking arms, drinking orders, urinating on the floor
Spilt the milk, split a hymen,
take 'em wicked, make 'em sore...

Let 'em know it's break day.

Voices

Two main versions:

* "Full Band Version" (1980) - Chemical Playschool 1 (4:30), Premonition (4:42), Legendary Pink Box (4:34)

On Premonition the beginning fades in from the previous song ("Amphitheatre"). The other mixes start cleanly, though the Legendary Pink Box mix fades in. All mixes end with a final echoing synth blip, but on Premonition this is mixed with a 15-second backwards snippet from "Red Castles," which then fades into the following track ("Odd").

This version does not have the "murder him" section at the end.

Instruments: Live drums; bass guitar; bass keyboard drone; electric guitar; piano arpeggios; warm synth chords in descending pattern during chorus, at other times provides accents; single vocal track

* "Electronic Version" (1981) - Only Dreaming (3:30), Ancient Daze (3:30), Ancient Daze CD-R (3:32)

Both mixes fade slowly into the song, and both slowly fade out at the end.

This version has an odd section near the end in which a man gives a speech about heresy, the crowd calls for murder, and the heretic is choked. This sounds like the band itself and is of poor audio quality. The names mentioned are inaudible but suggest they may have been reading from a witch trial record of some kind.

Instruments: Single drum machine pattern; bass guitar; piano arpeggios; single vocal track; electric guitar; bass keyboard drone with matching high-pitched tone during chorus; sharp synth chords that also do the descending pattern during chorus; pulsing high-pitched synth near the end; speech about heresy recorded with cheap microphone near end;

Suffix:

On Only Dreaming, the song is followed by a ten-second snippet of backwards music that is unidentifiable.

What it's about:

This seems to be a song about a man who sold his soul with a group of other people, at least one of whom -- Christine -- has died. Now he, a heretic, stands on a corpse-strewn battlefield and hears voices in his head, accusing him of his heresy.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

In the wind, in the sea,
whispering hate, heresy; quietly accusing me.
Voices. Voices. Those voices, all I hear are voices.

In the marsh, in the sky,
firing curses in my eyes, cutting me with razor lies.
Voices.

The sun steps down to dance on the armour,
now rusted and brittle like September leaves.
Through the odor of decaying man-piles,
I know someone's listening, waiting for me.
Christine, you haunt me - you cling like a limpet.
The ghost of your pulse hammers nails in my head.
We all sold our souls for a handful of ashes.
We gambled together, the blame should be shared...

In the wind, in the sea,
whispering hate, heresy; quietly accusing me.
Voices. Voices. Voices. Those voices.
Voices. Voices.

[?] has been found guilty of heresy. Five witnesses both [?] and [?} tesify that [?] has [?] filled with spirits and has openly mocked the Christus. There is but one penalty. Murder him! Murder him! [?] (choking sound)

Voices. Voices. Voices. Voices. Voices...

Why you should care:

It appears in a lot of different places so the band obviously liked it. The amateur theatrics near the end of the "Electronic Version" are surprisingly candid and fun to listen to.

Defeated

Two main versions:

* "1980 Version" (September 1980) - Only Dreaming (2:06), Stained Glass Soma Fountains (2:04)

Both mixes seem identical: short fade in of all the keyboard noises, vocals in the middle, then short fade out of keyboards at the end.

Instruments: Choppy keyboard chord melody, with tremolo that stops at the end; sequenced keyboard playing repeated blips; two vocal tracks with lots of echo; quiet synth white noise that gradually builds.

* "1981 Version" (1981) - Chemical Playschool Volume 1 (2:34), Kleine Krieg (2:37), Legendary Pink Box (2:30).

All mixes fade in with a swelling keyboard chord and a few bell sounds before the vocals start. This version is in a different key. All mixes fade into a thirty-second sound collage of crowd noises and bell sounds that eventually fade out.

Called "(Still) Defeated" on the Legendary Pink Box.

Instruments: Choppy keyboard chord melody with tremolo; keyboard accents with occasional sample-and-hold and changing filters; single vocal track with occasional swelling echo; second vocal track that sometimes switches with the first; sequenced keyboard blips near the end.

What It's About:

Carrie reads a letter from her boyfriend and she's unhappy about what it says. Feeling trapped and defeated, she tries to poison herself at a cafe but manages to survive after getting her stomach pumped. A happy ending? No, because she's still just as "defeated" as she was before.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

Crazy Carrie pulled the blinds, and fed the lions, and read the lines
that skipped across the page and sends her dizzy, dozy,
does she care? Does he?

The answer's "no," it's always "no," There's no escape, no secret doors.
There's nowhere you can hide. No way. You're finished, fated,
just defeated. Defeated...

She stumbled through the cafe doors down on all fours to loud applause
ordered a meat and mandrax and a belladonna squash to quash the pain.

There's a difference at Madonna's that will carry you away.
And carried her away, it made her day, they pumped her dry, they wiped her eyes.
She just survived, and she can prove it with her bracelet.
At least the money wasn't wasted. Not wasted.

She's defeated, still defeated. Nowhere to hide.
Still defeated

Why you should care:

Because THEY did! Along with "Voices," this song keeps on popping up everywhere. They must really love it.

Phallus Dei

One main version:

* (1981): Only Dreaming (3:27), Chemical Playschool Volume 1 (5:01), Ancient Daze CD (3:15), Ancient Daze CD-R (3:18)

A solid song that alternates between chugging verses and quiet choruses. It sounds like there may have been a slight feedback problem on April's mic.

The "Only Dreaming" mix contains the longest intro lead-in, while the "Ancient Daze" mix cuts out the first two bars entirely (the CD mix cuts in abruptly, what the CD-R mix fades in quickly). All mixes contain a tape glitch during the "rancid rotting hands" section, though the glitch is much worse in "Ancient Daze," lasting several seconds. Have the masters deteriorated that much?

Instruments: Keyboard plays a jaunty bassline; single pattern on a drum machine; choppy organ chords that turn into a music box melody during the choruses; Ka-spel vocals with plate reverb, alternating with quiet April White choruses; subtle extended keyboard chords modulated periodically; soulful noodling guitar.

Suffix:

On "Chemical Playschool" this is followed by 1:43 of a nameless, totally distinct track consisting of a low-pitched drone and occasional high-pitched swooping pulses. There's a quiet snippet of backward vocals at the end.

What It's About:

The strangely alliterative (and often nonsensical) story of a woman -- perhaps a nun -- being raped. She distracts herself with thoughts of happier times. In the end, Biblical figures show their disapproval of the situation.

Lyrics (adapted from the Cloud-Zero archive):

Pulses pounding, lungs collapse
in sheets of sewer breath.
Firing sweat stains steam saliva,
seeds of sudden death.
Seeping through the ventilator,
up the fire escape.
In a line, spirits whisper,
"Season's right for rape."

(I will think of England,
of trees in summertime.
Of leafy lanes, of daisy chains,
of Grandad's rhubarb wine.)

Run Christina, hide Christina,
sneak inside this shoe.
A pair of rancid rotten hands
are wringing just for you.
But android armies armed with H-bombs
couldn't save you now.
Best to just lie back and wait,
and contemplate your vow.

(I will think of England,
preparing for this trial.
I'll raise my veil, I'll bite my nails,
I'll grimace when he smiles.)

Shrivel, shimmer, sliding, shooting,
sinking to the ground.
Seedy 3D Polaroids
can twist it round and round.
It twined, entwined in twilight tango
turning in the fire.
Pressing, pushing past the limit,
expand and then expire.

(I will think of England,
of trees in summertime.
Of leafy lanes, of daisy chains,
of Grandad's rhubarb wine.)

Peter puked, tore a curtain,
dipped his eyes and cried.
Pilate pondered on his pipe,
politely turned aside.
And at the door stood John the Baptist,
head beneath one arm,
spitting oaths, splitting fingers,
sounding the alarm.

Why you should care:

One of the few songs in which Edward shares the vocal duties.